Category Archives: Lifestyle.Weekly

11 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationship

Communication is the key of any relationship, there is no loved up affair which can stand epileptic communication. It is not natural just has love itself might bee but a skill which needed to be learnt and be developed as well. Understanding this will make you work together with your partner to figure out how you can maintain healthy communication and stay on the same page. You may be asking how can this be done? I think I have the answers on ways to improve communication in your relationship:

1. Ask how they are daily
Check in every day. Asking “How are you? How was your day?” will not only keep you in touch and in sync, it’ll help keep you in the habit of communicating with each other.

2. Never assume
It’s easy to get worked up in your own head about something, but never actually reach out to the other person. Assumptions and mind reading usually lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about being an active listener. Who is an active listener? “[They] listen to what their partner says, rather than get defensive without understanding the partner’s point of view or where they’re coming from, so be patient and actually listen.

3. Have regular relationship check-ins

Just like you should ask how they are every day, you need to check in about the big stuff too. Make sure that you ask, “How do you feel about us?” and if there are any big changes — moving in, getting engaged, going on holiday— make sure you talk about them regularly. It gives you both an important platform to air concerns.

4. Believe things can change

Part of having positive conversation and communication is having a positive attitude. Don’t approach problems as though they’re impossible to solve.

5. Respond
If your partner is reaching out to you, be there to meet them. Couples try to ‘ get each others attention throughout the day, whether it’s for support, conversation, interest, play, affirmation, feeling connected or for affection,“Each of these moments is an opportunity to connect with your partner. A person should look for someone who responds to them, or at least acknowledges them when they try to get their attention, because it shows that they are meeting your emotional needs —or at least trying to. Whether it’s just talking about their day or trying to discuss big issues, recognize that they’re reaching out and meet them.

6. Talk things through before they happen
If you know you have a stressful time coming up, touch base beforehand.

7. Say “thank you” and always be grateful even for the little things
“A great way to build intimacy is expressing gratitude for something thoughtful your partner did that day,” it really is very simple. The words thank you and well done go a long way.

8. Discuss your sexual fantasies
Being able to talk about sex openly doesn’t just mean you’ll both be more satisfied. It shows a real connection.

9. Communicate during sex
You don’t need to be into dirty talk to communicate during sex. Giving verbal cues is great, but moaning, leading their hands, even just saying what feels good are all great ways to make sure that the communication is happening in all areas of your relationship — bedroom included.

10. Pick your timing
So often we bring something up when we’re feeling frustrated or annoyed. But pick your timing. Don’t bring up a big problem if there’s no time to discuss it properly. Don’t approach your partner with a bunch of small problems while the stressing about something big. You’ll know when it’s a good time.

11. Take the time to compliment and praise each other
If you get too comfortable with each other, it’s easy to only bring things up if they’re bothering you. You start to get complacent about the good things and take them for granted, which can breed resentment. Keep pointing out what you appreciate and love about each other.

It might feel as though communication is all about those big, deep conversations. In reality, it’s all about maintaining the little things. You may not get it all at once but keep trying.

‘I Chopped Off My Husband Manhood For Dating My Best Friend’ Woman Reveals

A thirty-three-year-old Janet Ekpe who poisoned her husband and as well chopped off his manhood in Nasarawa State has revealed that she did that because of her husband’s infidelity and for starving her of sex.

Janet revealed this to newsmen while stating the reason for killing her husband. She said she grew tired of her husband giving excuses night after night as to why he was no longer able to deliver in bed and even telling her on occasions to fantasize about the good old times in order to satisfy her sexual urge and matter came to a head when Janet realised that her husband had fallen in love with her best friend who happened to be a widow.

In her confessional statement, she said: “We were married for eight years with two children. It was three years ago I discovered that my husband had fallen in love with my best friend, a widow, and had been dating her.

“Since then, he stopped sleeping with me; he began to starve me sexually while satisfying my best friend.

“When we got married eight years ago, sex seemed to be the only thing on my husband’s mind. He was always in the mood.

“We would make love three or four times before morning, and when he woke up, he would be ready to continue.

“There were days he skipped work and we would spend the whole day making love.
“We had sex in the bathroom, in the kitchen and anywhere it caught our fancy in the house.

“I became used to constant sex through him and also became the envy of my close friends, including my best friend who he later fell in love with.

“Whenever we shared stories of our exploits in bed, my friends felt I had the best man and jokingly begged me to allow them to have my husband just for a day because their husbands could not satisfy them in bed.

“But shortly after we had our two kids, I began to notice his disinterest in sex with me and his performance level began to drop.

“While we were having sex on a regular basis before, it came down to two times in a week and later became so bad that we could stay for three or four months without making love.

“Initially, I was not bothered because I felt that he would come around it after the babies were weaned. But I was wrong. He began to starve me of sex for months on end.

“It got to the point that I would be begging him to sleep with me but he would rebuff my requests.

“At times, he would tell me I should relive the moments we had sex every day and wallow in that fantasy.

“When I pestered him further, he told me he was no more interested in sex as he had had enough to last him a lifetime.

“He even told me that sex is not food and that if I felt so sex starved, I should get a man to satisfy me.

“I reported the matter to our church and the pastor summoned him, but he could not convince our pastor.

“I reported the matter to his parents in the village and some of his relations around, but he ignored their invitation.

“Within this period, my husband started keeping late night, which was very unusual of him.

“Unknown to me, my best friend, Hellen, who is a widow, started keeping distance with me, while some of my friends started hinting that she and my husband were dating.

“I watched the way they acted and how happy he always seemed in her presence.
“I monitored them closely and caught them five times in a drinking joint in new Nyanyan.

“When I confronted him about it, he said I was being silly; so I decided to believe the whole story.

“The worst was the day I saw a text message from Hellen in my husband’s phone, thanking him for giving him the best sexual satisfaction ever in her life the previous day.

“I was devastated. I felt sick and angry.
“I was hurt that my own husband could do this to me.

“I went back to our pastor but my husband turned down the pastor’s invitation and even stopped attending church.

“At this point, he stopped coming back home most times and resorted to sleeping in hotels with Hellen.

“I felt like a single mum and it upset me. I confronted Hellen and told her she was hurting me and that their relationship was getting stronger while they were not taking my feelings into consideration.

“I could not stand the thought of them being so close.

“I used to love and trust my husband but he turned me into something I never knew I could become: a murderer. I killed him. I poisoned him and watched him die in our bedroom, painfully.

“I mixed a deadly, colourless, tasteless and odourless substance in his meal and drinking water which destroyed his intestines immediately.

“He cried and struggled uncontrollably after taking the meal. He gave up after an hour and I used a sharp blade and knife to chop off his penis, place it on his chest as evidence of what killed him.

“If your penis is the one that is giving you the audacity to have feelings for my best friend and refusing to listen to the advice of your parents and even your pastor, it is better to cut it off.

“Mr Sunday (Ekpe), a cheating, filthy, lying bastard, ought to die for me to live. I deserve to live because I am human and have blood flowing in my veins.

“These foolish men, you give them everything, yet they choose to fool around and play with your intelligence.

“I had monitored him closely and tolerated him for long and his end has come.”

“You cannot completely starve your young wife of sex and resort to dating her best friend. She said.

8 Ways To Slay For Owambe

We are Nigerians and Owambe is one thing we love a lot. Whether the country economic state is in shambles or not, Nigerians will always have reasons to party. Everyone wants to look stunning and exceptional at any events and generally go overboard spending on unnecessary things.

Being a wedding guest can be rough on one’s bank account especially with the increasing cost of aso-ebi fabric. From the cost of makeup, shoes and accessories, attending weddings these days will probably put a huge dent in your wallet. Here are some tips on how to slay when going for an owambe :

* Wear what you have . Not everyone is brave enough to try this but it works. After spending so much on aso-ebi lace, you shouldn’t put them at the bottom of your wardrobe. See those expensive fabrics as an investment for future events. If you already have an existing dress matching the colour palette of an upcoming owambe, why not dust off the fabric, slay and save you coins, more importantly, if you cannot afford it.

* Keep your style simple and trendy . Don’t be too extravagant, dress simple and moderately and you definitely look hot. We all love to look in an all shades of penging way and on fleek at an owambe but then follow the “KISH” Keep it simple and hot.
It is possible to slay in a simple, yet stylish outfit. From jumpsuits to off-shoulder dresses, there are a variety of classy, yet affordable designs to choose from.

Feel comfortable . Whenever you are going for an owambe always ensure you are comfortable in whatever you are wearing. Study show that your outfit can affect your emotional state. Therefore, if you want to have a good time at a party, wear something that makes you feel comfortable and attractive. Avoid wearing anything that makes you feel awkward. Otherwise, you may come across as awkward at the party.

*Smell nice . Each time you are going for an owambe endeavour to smell pleasant that even when someone pass by you the person would be like,” Uncle you smell nice”.

*Look charming. While the men look dapper and maintain their sweet boy status, women are now expected to slay, styling up themselves to a whole new level.

*Put up a smile . No matter the situations or mood you might be when going for an owambe smile and never stop. It is one of the best make-ups you can wear when you want to slay for a party.

*Wear perfect footwear that matches your dress . For the ladies you could put on heels. For the men, you could wear a shoe or sandals to match the dress.

*Consider the occasion . Whenever you’re going for an owambe consider the type of attire you would for the occasion and do a perfect combination.

Nostalgia – More Harm Than Good?

By Ebere Anodo

I have often wondered if it was unduly strange and unnecessary of me to hold on to memories so tightly, most times to the point of hysterical nostalgia- of which I am aware was a psychological disorder back in the 90s. This is often triggered by smell, actions, songs played or listened to at that particular period which causes some sort of explosive burst or fullness in the chest-a yearning to travel back through time and into those moments, be it pleasurable or not, causing happiness or sadness, but most times the latter.

To be in a nostalgic trance as I would like to call it, would mean to be oblivious of most of the happenings around you during that moment and be trapped in some kind of emotional space. However, it could also be for a short period but leaving you in a frantic state.

Brief standard definitions may suffice here:

Nostalgia– Sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period or moments in the past.

Hysterical -Being affected by exaggerated or uncontrollable emotion or excitement.

Nostalgia was made of two compounds, Greek in origin: Nosos – return to native land and Algos– suffering or affliction.

Today, experiencing a mild longing for the past may be like escaping to better times- especially during darker periods, as through nostalgia, you can simulate being in different circumstances than you actually are. However, in the 1800s most especially, it was the second most studied mental disease. In an interview, Edward Shorter, a professor of the History of Medicine and Psychiatry at the University of Toronto said, “It was once a mental disease that could end fatally”. He went further to say, “People could leave home and become servants and then be overcome with home sickness. Three weeks later they’d be dead”.

In the late seventeenth century through the end of the nineteenth (the period of wars) there were those that suffered from homesickness so extreme, it drove them mad. Most of the soldiers became so miserable, isolating themselves as they stopped eating and caring for themselves leading to a lack of hygiene and then diseases that killed them off. Doctors in the army noticed that most of the soldiers missed home and they were very attentive to that fact when treating or observing them.

Between 1820 and 1830, the concept of nostalgia reached its peak. Clinical cases had multiplied among immigrants and conscripts soldiers throughout the wars and continued during the French Revolution and the Napoleonic Empire.

Some say nostalgia is good for your mental health as it helps you escape to happier times in the past leaving you in a good mood afterwards, but how true is this?

Today, hysterical nostalgia has been forgotten but replaced. Thomas Dorman, Author of “What Nostalgia Was: War, Empire and the Time of a Deadly Emotion”, argues that for two centuries, Nostalgia manifested itself as something we might understand today as Post traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD).

Chronicles of Shade’s love mishaps

Many ladies these days believe all what a guy needed them for in relationship is sex. So true! “Virtually, all men are at first got attracted to a girl by her physical make-up and this directly links to sex” as opined by one study about men’s brain. But that is not the reason why men tend to leave girls after having sex with her for the first time.

A very good friend of mine once shared her experience with me about how guys have used and dumped her. Shade is a lady you can’t help but to wish she were yours. Even her female counterparts wished God made them as magnificent as Shade was. She said: “If I have to count one, two, three, I have dated up to five guys within the period of 4 years. The first guy I dated was just the type of guy I had wanted both in his physical appearance and otherwise. When we started our relationship I was very much into him but was very cautioned not to be seen as a cheap one. I gave him love and everything I could give a man but not sex. He usually pestered, but I wouldn’t bulge.

“After about a year plus, I was ready to have him break my hymen. It was a surprise to him – it came on a day he least expected. We had sex and never regretted it. But what made me to feel bad about my action was that after that day, all what we seemed to have built over the year began to hit the rock. The calling, chatting and caring manner that I so loved about him seemed to be waning, I thought at first that it was a normal not until the frequency of our communication slowed down–if I don’t make the calling, he won’t bother to call or ask about me. Just after a short while, we stopped talking and, boom! we broke up. I had to let him know I needed a break-up and he didn’t give a damn to ask why. I was pained!

“After the breakup with my first guy, I found myself in another relationship not quite long. We started as casual friends online. One thing led to the other. We began dating. I never wanted what happened in my first relationship repeated in this new one. I was of the opinion that what made my first relationship crash was because I was a bit difficult when it comes to the romantic aspect of the relationship. So I tried to avoid that pitfall and tended to be more romantic than before with the guy. Again, after the first sex with him, he did like the first man”.

“The same thing repeated itself with my other three dates. I began to wonder whether I am having some spiritual problem, if not why will I be sexed and dump by every man that sleeps with me?

Shade’s experience, you will agree is an everyday experience. This is the reason why I think many ladies tend to label all guys to be bad. Sleeping too soon with a guy won’t make him flake, likewise prolonging the time to have sex with a guy is not a ticket for the guy to stay; in fact, the latter is the worst in most cases I have seen.

The life of a man is not as complicated as that of his female counterpart. If you ask a female why she fell in love with her man, she will surely talk about both the physical aspect of him and the non-physical part. Same response can be received if the guy is asked the same question. However, where things get to be muddled up by a female about guys is about this cliché that men are moved by what they see. Ladies then tend to attach so much believe in this and give more attention to their physical well-being more than the non-physical aspect of their life. If you pay less priority to the sub-conscious aspect of your life in a relationship, it will always cause you more hurt than joy, because, it is just telling a guy that you have nothing else to offer in a relationship than what his libido is craving for.

In an article authored by Mark Rosenfeld, the author wrote that the non-physical aspect of a woman’s life is as important as her physical make-up, except when it comes to sex. This, in a word, summed up the overall reason why guys tend to disappear like a clockwork after sex. Other reasons include natural causes, which no matter what, you will likely get ex-ed after been sexed; believing in friends advise on how to handle your man; forming what you are not; and seeing man as the alpha and omega of your financial troubles.